Day 15- What do you believe in, and do you actually even believe in yourself?

You live a certain kind of way. You make decisions every day of your life. Choices. You lean towards what makes you most comfortable. And the days go by, and then months, and then years, and all of that is the accumulation of who you become, and perhaps many years later, when you are actually thinking about all of this, which is an inevitable moment, all of that is actually who you are. Literally. You are all of your experiences and all of the places you’ve been and all of the people you have encountered and exchanged with, you are all of your life. Every bit of it. But from time to time, things happen that can make you question yourself and what you thought you believed in. Take alternative medicine, for example. You might have been someone who didn’t deal with doctors and checkups and antibiotics and invasive tests and all of that stuff we are all supposed to stay involved with as our life moves. You may be that person who had a Kinesiologist, an acupuncturist, a homeopath. You may have gone for deep tissue massage for years to release toxins from your body, because you believe that’s what happens, and maybe you’ve been to flotation tanks and have practiced Yoga religiously, and put wheatgrass juice into your body for many years, carrot beet and celery juice, coconuts, meaning real coconuts, I mean, perhaps you are this kind of person. Someone who seeks spirituality in your crystals, or tarot, eucalyptus candles and deep prayer. Maybe running is your spirituality. Maybe even silence. It could be any or all of that and more, but at some point, things can happen in a lifetime that can make you question all of it, and that is a deep moment, because then you are questioning yourself. Who you are and what you believe in, and imagine being in a place where you just abandon all of that, in a split second. Because of fear. Or anxiety. Because most of the world is telling you, “that was nice until you had to deal with some real shit”, imagine that. I looked at this picture on a wall in my neighborhood the other day, and finally stopped and really looked at it. I have probably walked past this piece hundreds or maybe even thousands of times over the years, but today I stopped, and looked. There is a lot in there. I have my interpretations. They might be very different than yours. I can imagine the artist creating this, and why they might have done that, what they might have been thinking, but that’s my own personal view. This is kind of a metaphor for what I’m trying to say. I think the greatest moment in one's life might be the moment that you actually believe yourself. That you know you are right. For you. You don’t have to be right for everyone else, and you might not even get approval from anyone else, but you just know, and you are able to sit in that. Firmly. Stand right there. Solid in what you believe. I think, no matter what, that is perhaps the strongest place you can ever get to in your life. And probably the healthiest place. See how I tied all of the wellness stuff up and brought it back around to here? At the end of this blog entry? Believe me, I struggle with a lot, but I also believe in so many things. I stay open to everything, and never just feel like I am “right” for everyone. I just want to be right for me. And I want to respect you, and support you in feeling how you feel. And I want you to support me in how I feel. And I think that’s a good life. And that’s about it for today, which is kind of cryptic, I know, but believe me, I have a point that I’m trying to make, and you’re just going to have to believe that, and take from this whatever feels right for you, and I’ll respect and appreciate that, and thanks for reading all of this, and I hope this finds you well, happy and healthy and all good things like that, and have a beautiful Saturday, wherever you are, and as I always say, here’s to a better world, for all of us.


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