Day 6- Real life relationships are everything for me... <click "like"> ... oops, not here...

I think we need to take our relationships more seriously. I think this age of social media leads us to take tangible, real-life relationships for granted, because all you have to do is log in to your Facebook account, or your Twitter or Instagram account, or whatever other accounts you may have, and there are all of your “friends”, waiting to engage with you. To “like” you. To “comment” on what you say, or how you look, or how you carefully and meticulously put yourself out there, how you say you are “without filter” today, or what filter you are using, there is this entire world out there for you that takes the place of a more tactile and tangible existence, if you want it that way. I think this is really dangerous, and misleading. I think this is mostly a world that is “not what it appears to be”, although I also can see the benefits of these relationships, especially given that I am an artist, and have certainly reaped many benefits of relationships like these that I am describing, mostly with regards to my work, but with regards to affairs of the heart, or when you need someone to help you move, or if you want to go share a meal with someone because you just don’t feel like being by yourself and staring at your phone in a restaurant, if you need someone to bring you some food if you are sick and can’t get out of your apartment, if you want to see how people’s mouths move when they talk, what happens when you look someone in the eye when you are with them, how silence feels in another human being’s presence, if you want to truly know what energy is like in the real, actual world, where you can’t control everything, then you need to be in the same physical space with other people, or another person, and you have to interact in that kind of intimate and vulnerable kind of way. But I think we are losing that, because most people don’t feel they need something of that nature any longer in their life. I feel like people, in general, feel there is less “value” in real-life relationships these days. But not for me.

This is the age of narcissism. Self love. Self care. This is the age of fragile relationships, where if you say one wrong thing, at least in the mind of someone else, you are tossed out, discarded, and they just add a few friends on Facebook, and it’s all good. You’ve been replaced. Nobody really needs anyone else anymore, unless it’s business, or elevating your profile, your “reach”. We have become more and more insular. Private. Which is really ironic, given the fact that our privacy is pretty much gone in this world, but with regards to our hearts, we have grown walls inside of our bodies that “protect” us from real things. When you feel hurt by someone, you don’t have to deal with it at all. In this world, it’s hardly worth working through anything that might challenge you personally, meaning outside of business. Just get a few “likes”, and you feel great, your heart is full, and so “fuck that bad energy, I’m out”. ;)  You know this is what it’s like now. Not for me, though. It just doesn’t work for me like that.

I want to know how your eyes look when I talk to you, in real time, and not on my phone or tablet or laptop screen. I want to know how your face moves when you talk. Your hands. Your body language. I want to feel your energy. Or at the least, I want to know, or actually, I NEED to know, what your voice sounds like on the phone. I believe we can have real relationships from long distance, if that’s the only option, but not just via email or Facebook comments, or Inbox messages, or texts or emails. It’s gotta be via our voices. I want to hear your breath, otherwise I don’t believe you. I want to hear how you laugh. The rhythm of your speech. I want to feel that music of yours... I want to know if you even understands that last sentence, and the only way I can learn that is to talk to you, not from any kind of answer to that question, because music, or vibe, or energy, just “is”. I’ll just know. I’ll just feel you. But only if we get to see one another, or if I at least get to hear you. To interact with you, for real.

Anyway, this is what I’m thinking about this morning. When I was out running earlier, I said hello to a friend who I see out on the street from time to time on my morning run, and I thought about how grateful I am to know how her crooked smile looks when she’s all sweaty and breathing heavily from running her 8 miles each morning. How that big space between her front teeth is so beautiful. How her voice sounds. I love her gravelly voice. Her language. Her own personal and unique “spanglish”. How her long, crazy curly hair just flies all over the place, falling and sweeping across her face, how she has to mess with it so much, and how much she obviously loves all of that. How excited she sounds when she tells me about her kids and what’s going on with them, how amped she was today when she was telling me about her husband’s new job. I love how she obviously loves the fuck out of him, and how she obviously feels loved. How she shared how she was not well for a while, and what that looked like, on her face, how her hands moved kind of protectively, how she looked me dead in my eyes when she was talking about that, what her light, hazel-ish eyes looked like, what all of that felt like in the real world. I tell her a lot as well, from time to time, but today was her telling me stuff, and then we were both off and back to our respective runs, usually in different directions, and I really appreciate moments like that. That’s better than a “like”. Or even a “love”. At least to me.

Again, I see all of the positive stuff that comes with social media, but it will never replace what real life is for me, and I think it has, indeed, done that for many, many people. Some of whom I have lost, to the chaos of social media. The “minutiae”, as I often call it. Sometimes it’s awesome and necessary. But often times it’s damaging and really a bunch of bullshit. Speaking of which… did you hear Trump respond to Robert Mueller’s 8 minutes of clarity this morning? Yeah……. I don’t feel like talking about that, either…….. And thanks for coming back again today, that makes you my hero, and have a beautiful day, try and live your best life, every day that you are able, and here’s to a better world, for all of us.




Yes. So much yes. And thank you. And I'm gonna call you soon! Only, not now. It's 8:30 in the morning and I'm barely awake... 😄❤

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