Who's David?

Did you know that my birth name was actually David? I often wonder what I would have been like if I wasn't called Rock for pretty much my entire life. The name my adoptive parents gave me was Alan, but nobody really ever called me Alan. At least nobody who was really close to me, who really knew me. I mean, my parents called me Alan for most of my childhood, but as I got older, almost everyone called me Rock. Alan to Rock. But then there's this other thing. I was adopted, and so, believe it or not, David was my birth name. When you get to do one of those surveys to "see who you are", or "what you're like", meaning those astrological things, you know, that kind of stuff that most people think is fun? Like on social media and places like that? I always think, "this is total bullshit, because I'm not even putting in my birth name. Because it's not even my name. Or is it? I don't even really know." Yeah... just a few things that run through my head from time to time. The thing is...... if I'm being really honest...... I am really uncomfortable being thought of as "David". That sounds so wrong to me. So biblical. So "somebody else". But the fact is, it's me. It was me, at least, and there were plenty of people referring to me as David, before I ever met my adoptive parents. Three foster homes before I showed up at my final destination. I think about that, and that is just so weird to me. David. Sometimes, when I feel close enough to someone to tell them my story, and they call me David, it's usually just to poke me a little bit, to make fun, but sometimes, people are serious about it, and usually they are very spiritual people, and that kinda freaks me out. That they feel more comfortable calling me David, because that was my name at birth. My given name. And then I was given another name, and then another name, but my first name was David. My first name is David, actually. Well, my middle name is David, too, because my adoptive parents named me Alan David Wilk. And so... does that mean they knew my name and decided to change it? If so, that feels kind of messed up to me, but I don't know if they knew, and I never asked when they were still alive, and now that they're both gone, I can't ask. And so I don't know. David. Alan David. Rock. That's crazy when you really think about it. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I still don't really know how I feel about all of that. My new play is called Imagine Judith. It was called Book of Judith. But the story is really about me. Rock Wilk. Alan Wilk. Alan David Wilk. Rock. Alan. David. I can't tell someone's story who I never met. I can just tell the details that I learned from others, but I can't represent anyone but myself, at least from the heart. I can empathize, but I can only really confirm my own feelings and thoughts. My play keeps changing as I work on it. Just like BROKE WIDE OPEN kept changing. My first play. Also about my biological mother. But not really, because it was really about me. BROKE WIDE OPEN was originally titled Ma'Plej. Brooklyn Quartet, my second play, was originally titled Privilege. Book of Judith. Imagine Judith. David. Alan. Rock. See what's happening here? Who's David? Names are so important. We identify ourselves with what people call us. Many people feel so disconnected from their name that they change it themselves. Sometimes they go as far as doing that legally. They actually fill out forms and erase their given name. That's deep when you think about it. Identity is everything. Who are you? Who am I? What's my name? What do people call me? How does that feel? It's interesting to think about one's name. What we are referred to out in the world. How we identify our self. I think it's really important, and so that's why it's been heavy on my mind as of late. I may not change the title of my new play. Although, I may very well change it if I feel like it, as it's still in "work in progress" mode. But this post today is much deeper than that. And thanks for visiting me today, or any day, and I hope you have a beautiful day, today, and every day, and as I often say, here's to a better world, for all of us. 


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